Colossians 3:13
by Dr. Grant C. Richison
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Colossians 3:13
"Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone
has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also
must do."
God adds two more characteristics to demonstrate the social virtues of verse
12 in action. First, "bearing with one another." This is the
sixth garment with which the Christian is to clothe himself.
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"Bearing with"
God wants us to bear with others with the attitudes of verse 12. The words
"bearing with" signify to hold up against a thing and so to bear
with (Matt. 17:7; 1 Cor. 4:12; 2 Cor. 11:1, 4, 19, 20; Heb. 13:22, etc.).
"Bearing with" means to be patient with, in the sense of enduring
possible difficulty (Eph 4.2).
God wants us to have enough character in an adverse situation to hold ourselves
back from the temptation to let loose and fly at them. This is noble self-restraint.
"Bear with" means to put up with someone. Bear and forebear.
God expects us to lovingly put up with one another. Love gives others
latitude. That is how husbands and wives get along together.
PRINCIPLE: Forbearance gives latitude to the failings of other people.
APPLICATION: For human beings to live together there must be latitude.
What produces latitude? Love. We would not put up with such behavior
with someone else but love enables us to bear with it. We lovingly forbear.
There is no forbearance when there is no love. Where people are rigid and
do not give an inch, there is no love. God has not appointed us to remake
others. They are not going to change. We must lovingly bear with their
personalities or their lack of it. We lovingly put up with idiosyncrasies.
They have a few queer quirks but so do we.
If we do not love them there will be nothing but friction. It is the principle
that obtains between husbands and wives. They lovingly put up with one
another. Certain things get on each other's nerves but love provides the
lubrication so that they are able to grant latitude. They overlook great
many things because there is love between them. If there is no love, friction
will become so abrasive that the marriage will split apart.
We lovingly put up with peculiarities. We all have some quirks; all of
us have our peculiarities. But we are so close to our own peculiarities
that they do not seem peculiar. We despise in other people the same peculiarities
that we have ourselves. We can recognize them in others, but we have a
blind spot to them in ourselves. Love enables the wife to overlook the
fact that her husband has two left feet.
Love will enable us to overlook the shortcomings of others. Some people
want to oversee everyone; they want to supervise. We are to overlook their
frailties and leave them with the Lord. We must give account of ourselves,
not our neighbors.
"Bearing with" means not to hate, hurt, gossip about, mind their
business or malign anyone. God does not want us to live someone else's
life. God has not appointed us to straighten out other people. He has
not elected us a bully.
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"one another"
We need to learn to live with one another. "One another" means
one another of the same kind. This refers to fellow Christians. We need
to learn to live with fellow Christians.
PRINCIPLE: Forbearance gives latitude to the failings of other people.
APPLICATION: Forbearance is tolerance. There is a good and a bad tolerance
from the Christian point of view. Bad tolerance is to tolerate false doctrine
within the body of Christ. It is sad to see this rampant among evangelicals
today. It is the Christian duty to be intolerant against that which discounts
Jesus or his work upon the cross.
However, the second tolerance is the tolerance of insult or injury against
our person. No matter how totally obnoxious the person may be to us, God
expects us to bear with them.
The normal tendency when we encounter a legalistic, immature believer is
to squash them with truth. This reflex comes when they try to intrude into
our space. There is an obvious difference in our spiritual condition.
What should be the reaction of the mature believer when this rude, crude
person sticks his nose in our business? Bear with him. The mature believer
will not fall apart and use revenge tactics. He will not get upset.
The second characteristic that demonstrates social virtue is "forgiving
one another." This is the seventh garment with which the Christian
is to clothe himself.
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"and forgiving "
Forgiveness means to bestow favor unconditionally (divine forgiveness--Eph.
4:32; Col 2:13; 3:13; human forgiveness--Lk. 7:42,43 (debt); II Cor 2:7,10;12:13;
Eph. 4:32). "Forgive" means to give graciously, unconditionally,
without strings. To forgive is to grace someone.
The mature believer forgives on the basis of his own forgiveness. God forgave
us at the point of salvation and we are in the process of being forgiven.
So when we forgive it is not forgiveness based on strain. "I am not
going to hit this guy in the nose, I am not, I am not!" That is strain.
There is no strain when we forgive on the basis of grace.
This is forgiveness on the basis of one's gracious attitude toward an individual
(2 Cor 12.13). It carries the idea of good will on the part of the giver
-- to give, grant or bestow generously (Gal. 3:18; Rom. 8:32).
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"one another"
"One another" is a reciprocal pronoun. We perform this gracious
act in the interest of another. This has to do with grace toward the household
of faith.
PRINCIPLE: The ability to forgive is God-given.
APPLICATION: One of the most difficult things a Christian is called upon
to do is to forgive freely and unconditionally. The more we understand
the grace God gave to us the better we will be able to forgive.
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"if anyone has a complaint against another"
A complaint is a grievance against someone else. An occasion of complaint
implies blame. The complaint may be justified.
A "complaint" is an idiom meaning to accept an allegation against
someone for a legal review. It is to bring an accusation against someone.
It is an idiom meaning "to accept in accordance with a charge, to accept
a complaint in court, to admit a complaint to judgment."
PRINCIPLE: Forgiveness is the freedom from attitudinal sins against others.
APPLICATION: Can you let a complain you have against someone drop? Can
you forgive fault against you? Do you hold grudges? If Christ forgave
faults against him, so should we.
Complaint includes complaint about imaginary wrong. It does not mean to
complain until forgiveness is asked. Once we are satisfied with their admission
of failure, then we will condescend to forgive them. That is the way many
operate.
A mature believer is not bitter toward those who wrong him. He is not hostile,
implacable. His mind is completely free and relaxed toward other people.
He does not retaliate through gossip and maligning. He does not use revenge
tactics. Forgiveness means to forget it and therefore not retaliate.
When we forbear, we hold everything back; when we forgive, we hold nothing
against. Forbearance refuses to demand what is deserving. Forgiveness gives
more than what is deserving. What beautiful balance of attitude!
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"even as Christ forgave you"
To forgive as Christ forgave does not mean that the Christian is to become
a doormat. It does mean that when we have a complaint against someone, we
approach the problem with a certain bearing -- an attitude of forgiveness.
Jesus Christ is the standard for non retaliation. As Christ forgave so
we are to forgive. The phrase "even as" indicates the standard.
Jesus could have retaliated against the Scribes and Pharisees, the people
who wronged him. He did not seek any form of retaliation against them.
He would forget their rejection and insults. He treated them on the basis
of his character which was oriented to grace. Grace becomes overtly mercy.
He did not attempt to ruin, hurt or destroy them. He did not try to penalize
them in any way. He did, however, confront them.
PRINCIPLE: Jesus Christ is the standard for forgiveness.
APPLICATION: God does not want us to wait until people who have hurt us
come crawling. He wants us to forgive immediately. If we do not forgive
immediately, we will end up very tight people. We will become bitter and
upset. We may even become hysterical. We will eventually become vicious
and vindictive. We will develop terrible behavior patterns. We may end
up screaming and throwing tantrums.
There is no place in the Christian life for hysteria, whiners, cry babies,
tantrum tillies or for any type of panic experience. That is why Jesus
is the standard to show us how to treat obnoxious people.
We are to forgive as Christ forgave. Christ forgave immediately; he did
not go into a tizzy; he did not whine or cry; he did not fall apart. He
did not use abnormal behavior patterns seeking revenge to hurt and destroy.
This is the only way to keep from wearing out your transmission. When we
get our transmission out of line, distortions will occur. We may end up
with illnesses and psychosomatic illnesses. We will develop all sorts of
problems. We may get ulcers or break out in rashes. The reason? We are
out of kilter. God designed the body to go with the soul. The soul is
the transmission of life. When the transmission strips its gears, then
our lives do not go anywhere.
We cannot afford to harbor resentment against anyone, anytime for anything.
If we forgive as Christ forgave, our mentality will be free from mental
attitude sins. If we allow hatred, bitterness, antagonism, vindictiveness,
implacability or jealousy to get hold of us, then our soul will become distorted.
We are not like Christ in exercising forgiveness.
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"so you also must do"
God wants us to follow the pattern of forgiveness Christ set.
PRINCIPLE: Jesus Christ set God's standard for forgiveness for us.
APPLICATION: God wants us to forgive as Christ forgave us (Eph. 4:32).
We may resist that idea and say, "I will not." If we develop
that attitude then God will by-pass us. God will not use us as long as
we maintain that attitude. "But they are wrong; they are at fault."
That has nothing to do with it. Do you want God to by-pass you? "No."
Then forgive them.
We cannot afford unforgiveness. As long as we are "off limits"
with God, God will not use us. God will stick us at the back of the line.
An unforgiving spirit is a sour spirit. We can take something for a sour
stomach but forgiveness is the medicine for a sour spirit.
There will always be those people with whom we cannot work out a problem.
The Lord Jesus confronted the Pharisees. He did not forgive them for their
distortions. He unmasked them. Therefore, there is a place for intolerance.
Jesus was intolerant of their sin, sham and hypocrisy.
If Christ forgave what is keeping us from forgiving? Forgiveness means
to forget the offense against us. We are not to bring it up to the offender,
to constantly harass them with reminders of the hurt of the past is non
forgiveness. Some of us not only get hysterical but we get historical!
We go back over past injuries again and again. Rehashing the problem indicates
there was no forgiveness in the first place.
"Well, I'll forgive, but I'll never forget." Is that the way
Christ forgave? How did Christ forgive us? He dismissed and forgot our
sins. We must do the same. We must forgive freely, fully, finally. We
forgive those who hurt us the same way -- freely. Jesus will never taunt
me with my sins; he will not bedevil me with them. God does not say that
we are to pray about it; just do it. God does not want us to take it under
advisement; just do it.
Copyright © 1995, Dr. Grant Richison. All rights reserved.
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